"We Need to Foster a Culture of Connection Among Parents": FNC's Executive Director Responds to the Surgeon General's Advisory on Parental Stress
The crucial connection between parental well-being and thriving communities has seen extensive discussion in the news in recent months. In August 2024 the U.S. Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek H. Murthy, issued an advisory on the pressures faced by parents in America today, as well as an op-ed in the New York Times. Stressors of parenting such as financial strain and heavy time demands are made worse by the widespread loneliness experienced by parents and by inadequate community support and resources: “Many parents have lost their village,” as Murthy describes it in this NPR interview. And for parents who have fewer resources or who experience oppression and marginalization, these difficulties are compounded. The result, according to the surgeon general’s report, is an emerging crisis in parental well-being and mental health, which affects children’s health outcomes and the well-being of our society as a whole.
Family Nurturing Center of Massachusetts exists precisely to support parents and caregivers with these complex challenges. We interviewed Emma Tobin, FNC’s Executive Director, to get her insight on the Surgeon General’s report and how FNC’s work addresses this emerging crisis to support families.
What struck you when you first read the Surgeon General’s report and the discussion around it?
When I read the Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Mental Health and Well-Being of Parents, as well as the New York Times piece, I had a mix of strong reactions back-to-back:
My first thought was YES, thank you for this incredibly important statement—everyone, in every sector, needs to read and understand this so that we can begin to make changes together.
My second thought was: what does it say about our society that this needs to be said at all? Shouldn’t it be obvious that parents are struggling and stressed—and that this situation results from a systemic lack of support?
And finally, I felt a renewed sense of commitment to FNC’s mission. We are doing work that directly addresses the societal problem that the Surgeon General is naming with this Advisory and we have been doing it for 30 years.
Can you talk about the differences that factors like racism, poverty, violence, and marginalization create for parents?
Parenting is a tough job for everyone. The emotional, physical, financial, and logistical investments are enormous. In the U.S., the cost of childcare alone is a major stumbling block, even for financially stable families. When you factor in the compounding impacts of poverty, housing and food insecurity, immigration history and status, institutionalized racism, community violence, and other systemic barriers, parents are facing nearly insurmountable hurdles to raising thriving kids.
Despite all of that, people are remarkably resilient. Even in the face of so many obstacles, they go to incredible lengths for their children. What would that love and energy look like—what could it achieve—in a society that recognizes that parents are struggling, and actually does something about it?
The report talks about the problems facing parents, and it offers a lot of ideas for solutions and needed changes. What would you say about its recommendations for action?
Surgeon General Murthy emphasizes that people shouldn’t try to parent entirely on their own; instead, we need to foster a culture of connection among parents. We also need to create a culture where people are able and even encouraged to talk openly about the struggles and stress of parenting. These are the core tenets on which Family Nurturing Center is built.
In the words of the Surgeon General, “parents and caregivers play a critical role in providing the formative safe, stable, and nurturing relationships and environments that children need in order to thrive.” Imagine if we gave those parents and caregivers the same sense of safety and stability to parent to their fullest potential.
I am also struck by the strength of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. While there is still so much work to do to create inclusive supports for caregivers, we are fortunate to be in a state that offers Paid Family Medical Leave and a City with a Universal Pre-K program, both of which the Surgeon General recommends. MA has a stronger social safety net than many other states in our country and, as the report rightly points out, those social service programs play a critical role in reducing the pressure and stress on parents. Still, many families in MA live below the poverty line and we need to be relentless in our efforts to change that.
How does FNC’s work specifically address the challenges described in this report?
I am struck by how perfectly Dr. Murthy’s concrete recommendations align with FNC’s work. It’s heartening to see him both affirm how complex these challenges are, and also highlight how we can address them through a combination of approaches. As I said earlier, we are working to create a culture of connection, openness, and support for parents. This kind of culture change can sound nebulous or even idealistic, but it’s possible through concrete, considered actions.
First, Dr. Murthy says that we need to promote and expand funding for programs that support parents and other caregivers. Every day, FNC’s team provides experiential, multi-generational family support and parenting education in a range of contexts and languages. He also emphasizes the need to recognize diverse family structures, including single-parent families, kinship families, foster families, and beyond. FNC offers programs tailored to real families, including all of these groups.
Next, he says we need to invest in social infrastructure to bring parents and caregivers together. FNC does this through Parent-Child Playgroups, community events, and celebrations across the city. We utilize public parks, libraries and other community spaces to connect families to each other and to local resources. By meeting families where they are, in terms of both physical spaces and social settings, we build a sense of safety and connection.
Finally, Dr. Murthy calls for an increase in reentry programs and support for currently and formerly incarcerated parents. FNC provides parenting education for incarcerated parents, we train corrections staff to deliver these programs, and we support individuals who are returning to their families and communities after incarceration. By engaging incarcerated fathers in the Nurturing Fathers Program—with FNC’s training and support—local partners have seen a reduction in recidivism rates, so we know that these programs are meaningful and they are working.
What would you say to someone who wants to be part of the solution? How can those reading this support parents in their lives and in their communities?
This may sound too easy, but there is a real opportunity to be part of the solution: I invite you to invest in our mission. Every day, FNC is delivering programs that match Dr. Murthy’s recommendations by helping parents and caregivers to feel less alone, better supported, and equipped to meet the demands of one of the most important jobs there is: raising healthy kids. FNC reaches over 5,000 children and caregivers across Massachusetts each year, and train over 1,000 providers throughout the region. With your support, we can do even more to move the dial on the mental health and well-being of parents and change children’s chances for generations.